Anne M. Shay

Our family lost our North, South, East, and West on November 8, 2024. Anne Marie Shay finished her loving legacy on Earth as she departed for the heaven her faith and God promised.

Faithful companion and wife to Richard J. Shay for 59 years of marriage; devoted and loving mother to Richard and Denise Shay, Robert and Nicole Shay, Anne and Daniel Martin, Sandra and Michael Colfer, Michael and Anita Shay, and Catherine and Michael Bernstein; joyous and gracious Mom-Mom to Jessica, Michael, Jenna, Kimberly, Victoria, Ryan, Angela, Hannah, Jacob, Daniel, Emma, Meghan, Andrew, Sean, Joseph, and Collin; supportive aunt to many nieces and nephews—Anne Shay’s exuberant spirit and unwavering hope in service to her family were gifts she gave unconditionally and generously. 

Anne was born to Anna and Frank Parry and spent her childhood in the Port Richmond section of Philadelphia. She was the little sister of the now-deceased James Parry and Joan Nicholas. She made pasta with her maternal grandmother and spent time with her best friend and next-door neighbor, Maryann Hinson. She began her love of everything Mummers in that loving home off Richmond Avenue, supporting her dad’s string band, Greater Kensington, and later Ferko, with her brother. She played the xylophone and held a constant vigil every New Year’s for the results to come in. She always had a tender spot for her local Polish American String Band, and her love of the string band tradition was passed down to her children year after year. She was proud of her Frankford High School memories and would sing the fight song yearly during the North Catholic and Pioneer Thanksgiving game. She would head to Bandstand to see Dick Clark and soon discovered her love for everything Elvis. She found her second home on the beach in Wildwood. The music she carried all her life and shared as a gift to everyone around her began in her childhood home and stayed with her forever. 

Anne soon met a boy from Bridesburg while taking the bus to dance and enjoy the music she cherished. They quickly became a couple in a marriage that blossomed with possibilities. Her husband was sent to Germany for the Army, and she soon followed him to Europe with a baby boy, traveling alone on an airplane. They returned home and settled not far from their families in Juniata Park, actively participating in their new parish of Holy Innocents. There, surrounded by family and friends, they raised six children in the Catholic faith, celebrating milestones like first steps, baseball parades, camping trips, graduations, and many shore trips. The music always played in her heart as she cooked, cleaned, dressed, and drove to her Aunt Anna’s house, singing “Que Sera, Sera.” Anne had the family her heart desired in the row home on Dungan Street, and she never let go, holding them close, protecting them, and offering the solace of a safe and trusted place she built through her sheer will: a home. 

As her children became adults and sought the love in others that they were given at home, she welcomed the spouses with open arms, starting each day with a warm cup of coffee and her knowing smile. She made sure each one knew she would share her children but never let them go. Just as she might have felt the music was ending as her children left, she was given an orchestra of love with the arrival of her grandchildren. In them, the music that was this mother became a song again in the small pajamas and little feet that would follow her for a banana split, a sip of real coffee in tiny teacups, a stick of butter, and all the hugs and kisses a blanket could hold. Her grandchildren followed wherever her imagination led them as they sang under Fourth of July fireworks, held hands walking into the ocean, and shared tuna and noodles on a rainy fall day. In these small moments of life, Anne’s final years became the happiest of all fairy tales because the princesses and princes were real—and they were hers. 

Anne’s song extended beyond her home. She worked as a hairdresser at a local beauty salon and later as a secretary in various departments for the Archdiocese of Philadelphia. Her work for the church and service to the Office of Catholic Education and the Tribunal next to the Cathedral were more of a vocation than a job. She was as faithful to her duties as to her obligations as a Catholic woman and considered it an honor to help promote the holy mission. She worked there for over 30 years, retiring at the age of 75. She once crossed America on a bus with her husband. She visited Italy and attended Mass at the Vatican. She once lived in Mystic Island by the shore, where she loved sitting in the sun, eyes closed, listening to the seagulls. She was happiest with a cup of coffee in her robe by the water or letting the tide take her as she floated aimlessly under the blue shore sky. The music of those summers never seemed to end, filled with the laughter of her family, as they never once took for granted the preciousness of each other and time. 

Anne’s earthly song concluded in a battle with cancer that slowed her down in her last two years. Yet she never lost the music of her smile. She never forgot her makeup or the recipe for her meatballs and sauce that brought us together. Even the happiest songs end, and Anne’s music ended on a quiet night as she slept, exhausted from the pain and struggles of age. She is survived by people who love her and will not stop loving her because her music lives inside us. We may have lost our family compass, yet the sweet lullaby she sings in heaven will guide us to her, to home again. 

Relatives, friends and fellow parishioners of the St. Jerome Parish are invited to gather to remember Anne on Saturday, November 16, 2024 beginning at 12pm at St. Jerome Church, 8100 Colfax St., Phila., PA 19136. Her funeral mass will begin at 1pm. Interment will be held privately. 

In lieu of flowers, donations in Anne’s memory to 

Tunnel to Towers Foundation

T2T.org

or

American Cancer Society

Cancer.org

and would be appreciated by her family.

Arrangements by McCafferty Sweeney Slabinski Barnes Funerals and Cremations, John Barnes Supervisor, 215.333.0500